Talia Goldstein, founder Three Day Rule
1. How did you create the idea of Three Day Rule?
I was working as a producer at E! Entertainment and noticed that my co-workers were all having trouble finding love. In my spare time, I would set them up on dates for fun and eventually started hosting singles events all around LA. As the parties grew, I saw that there were so many successful, attractive singles that were struggling with dating. I knew that there was something missing in the market. So, I took a huge leap of faith, quit my job, and started Three Day Rule.
2. Tell us how it works?
At TDR, our matchmakers essentially go on first dates for you. We vet every match and only introduce the best ones to you. After each date, we get feedback from both parties so there are no more guessing games about how the date went or whether or not your match was interested in you. We help busy singles outsource their dating lives to us so they can spend more time on quality dates.
3. You describe the Three Day Rule clients as “busy professionals serious about finding love.” How do you find these men and women, or how do they find you?
The majority come to us from word of mouth/referrals from past clients who worked with us and had a great experience. Our matchmakers are also out and about at different events every night and recruit clients and matches wherever they go. We also host events regularly in each of our cities and get a lot of press coverage, so many of our clients come to us after attending an event or reading an article about us.
4. Tell us about the name, "Three Day Rule."
The term "Three Day Rule" was first coined in the 90's movie, "Swingers", and refers to the number of days that guys thought they were supposed to wait before contacting a girl to ask her out. However, in this digital age, waiting for three days to contact someone you are interested in is totally outdated. The name "Three Day Rule" actually pokes fun at this term and is meant to turn that rule on its head. If you work with a TDR matchmaker, there are no "rules" or games because we set you up with pre-vetted dates and only introduce you to the most compatible matches who are already interested in meeting you.
5. How many clients are in the database?
Our database is constantly growing since our matchmakers are out every night recruiting new matches, but currently we have over 60K eligible singles in our database. You can easily be part of Three Day Rule's dating database we use to match our members by signing up for free at threedayrule.com.
6. How do you define a successful date?
A successful date is one in which you had fun getting to know your date, had interesting and engaging conversation, and were left wanting to learn more.
7. What’s the biggest mistake most people make on a first date?
They judge too quickly -- if there isn't a spark, they move on. Most happy couples that I know didn't necessarily have crazy fireworks on the first date. Those came after several dates of getting to know each other. If you are fairly attracted to your date and they are a kind person, you should absolutely give it at least one more shot.
8. What are the age ranges that you work with?
We work with quality singles of all ages, from 25-65. Our matchmakers go to great lengths to ensure that they find amazing matches that are within the specific age range you are looking for.
9. What are the top things that you see men are looking for in a woman?
There are generally 3 things that men ask for in a woman. 1) Someone that exudes warmth and is kind and nurturing. 2) Someone that is passionate about something - whether it be yoga, their job, or volunteering, men are attracted to women who are excited about something in their lives 3) Someone that is attractive -- this means different things to different people so it's quite subjective. We make sure we understand how you define attractive and if you have a physical "type" (which most people do), we make sure we understand what that is and find matches that meet your criteria.
10. What are the top things that women are looking for in a man?
Here are the top 3 things that women ask for in a man. 1) Someone that is stable, has a steady job and is ideally successful. 2) Someone that is kind, has a good heart, and would make a great father and lifelong partner. 3) Someone with a great sense of humor. There is nothing better than having a partner who makes you laugh or can lift your spirits at anytime.
11. Let’s talk about first dates. What are some of your top first date tips?
1) No coffee dates. Coffee dates can feel like business meetings and it's tough to develop a romantic connection when you're sitting at a loud, noisy cafe in broad daylight. 2) Be open-minded. Your perfect partner may come in a different package than what you are expecting so it's important not to limit yourself when deciding to give someone a chance or a first date. Be open-minded on every first date and remember that the best husbands aren't always the best daters.
12. Do you make suggestions on what to wear to your clients?
If they ask us for styling advice, we are always happy to help. We even send some clients to our partner, Trunk Club, to get fashion advice. It's very important to feel confident when walking into a date so getting a few styling tips can be useful.
13. You’re married with two kids, did you meet your husband through a matchmaking service?
I essentially matched myself! I walked into a party, saw my husband across the room, and told the person next to me to bring him over immediately. I introduced myself, we chatted, and he asked for my number. I'm 99% sure he would never have talked to me at that party (he was hanging with his guy friends and is shy), so I am really glad that I was the proactive one. I encourage all women to be proactive both in person and online. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
14. How would you compare Three Day Rule to popular dating sites like Match.com?
We see ourselves as a good supplement to the online dating process. Online dating can sometimes feel overwhelming so working with a Three Day Rule matchmaker can help narrow the pool. Since we focus on vetting all of your matches for you, we can help online daters spend less time searching for matches and more time going on actual dates. We provide a personalized touch to dating and help open your mind and guide you in the right direction in terms of the types of matches that you should be meeting.
15. Do you have a favorite dating success story you can tell us about?
There are so many to choose from! I think that my favorite was a client of mine named Allie. She came to me in her late 30's and asked for a nice, Jewish guy, preferably not in the entertainment industry. I matched her with a Catholic movie producer and they ended up getting married (and now have twins!). I love opening up people's minds. Had Allie been online dating, she may have filtered out her husband or swiped right past him. They are the most amazing couple I know and I feel honored to have matched the two of them together.
16. Do you have any tips regarding the conversation on a first date?
1) Keep the conversation light. There is no reason to bring up your baggage on a first date. Instead, talk about lighter subjects like art or music, and find some common ground. 2) Ask questions. Ideally, both parties should do an equal amount of talking. Don't confuse a date with an interview. Many people (especially women) treat dates like an interview. They ask questions in order to check boxes (does he have a good career? what is his potential as a father? etc). In fact, this is the best way to kill the mood on a first date. 3) Leave them wanting more. A first date should be fun and exciting. You should walk away wanting to know more about the person vs. knowing everything about them.
17. What is the most satisfying aspect of your job?
I love challenging my clients to focus on what they truly need vs. what they want. Do you really need broad shoulders and perfect teeth in 50 years? Probably not. But, do you want someone who makes you laugh, is emotionally available, and adores you? Definitely. I love working with each client to figure out what they truly need in a match.
18. Where do you see yourself in five years?
I love my job and can't imagine myself doing anything else. I am convinced that I will still be matchmaking until I am 80 years old. I am obsessed with it.
19. What causes/charities are you most passionate about?
I'm passionate about anything that involves empowering and helping women, including Step Up Women's Network and Girl's in Tech.
20. If you had to choose a different career, what would you do?
I love start-up life so I would work for another start-up in the early growth stage. There is never a dull moment when you're working at a start-up!